11 Thrilling Action Hero Quotes Delivered by our Robot Overlords

After reading Ben Goertzel's blog post, Dialoguing with the US Military on the Ethics of Battlebots, I was struck by the potential horror of his stated position on battlebot ethics:

I remain generally anti-violence and anti-war, but my main political focus now is on encouraging a smooth path toward a positive Singularity. To the extent that military force may be helpful toward achieving this end it has to be considered as a potentially positive thing....

In Ben's defense, he uses his blog to explore these ethics in a thoughtful way.  The levels of horror possible with Artificial Intelligence battlebots can be exposed if one considers them as potential action heroes delivering the requisite hero one liners.

Here are some of our beloved action hero one liners as delivered by the AI of Google translate:

We'll name our Artificial action starbot DOOMBA.

"They may take our lives, but they will never take our freedom!"  (Mel Gibson in Braveheart - 1995)

It may take our lives, our freedom can not take! (DOOMBA)

"Say hello to my little friend!"  (Al Pacino in Scarface - 1983)

Greetings my little friend! (DOOMBA)

"You've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya punk?" (Clint Eastwood in "Dirty Harry" – 1971) 

Ask yourself to try it. Do I feel lucky? Oh, what are ya? Punk! (DOOMBA)

"Yippee ki yay motherfucker."  (Bruce Willis in Die Hard series - 1988)

Ki yay motherfucker afford brush.  (DOOMBA)

"Out here, due process is a bullet." (John Wayne in "The Green Berets" – 1968) 

Out, due process is a bullet here.  (DOOMBA)

"You talkin' to me?" (Robert De Niro in "Taxi Driver" – 1976)

You are 'in me?  (DOOMBA)

"Dyin' ain't much of a living, boy." (Clint Eastwood in "The Outlaw Josey Wales" – 1976)

Not much in life, boy.  (DOOMBA)

"Go ahead, make my day." (Clint Eastwood in "Sudden Impact" – 1983)

Future, go to my day.  (DOOMBA)

"You're the disease. I'm the cure." (Sylvester Stallone in "Cobra" – 1986)

You're sick. I'm cured.  (DOOMBA)

"I crap bigger than you." (Jack Palance in "City Slickers" –1991)

If I was larger than junk.  (DOOMBA)

"If you come back in here, I'm going to hit you with so many rights, you're going to beg for a left." (Chuck Norris "Invasion USA" – 1985) 

If, come back here, if I have to hit very many privileges, I will ask for going left.  (DOOMBA)

As you see, our plucky action star DOOMBA can't deliver a kick ass quote.  But I'm sure his killing will be all precision.

The Men Who Stare at iPhones: ESP free iPhone app

You may have this feeling about your iphone already.  But after I downloaded this app, and tested myself, I found myself asking, "what does my iphone want from me?"

I won't make you intuit the link: ESP trainer app available for free from the App Store.

"The ESP trainer was developed under a NASA program by Russell Targ at Stanford Research Institute.  The purpose of the trainer is to allow you to become aware of what it feels like when you psychically choose the correct square. When you don't have that special feeling, we encourage you to press the Pass button. (So this is not a "forced choice" test.)
In a year long NASA program with 145 subjects (under Contract 953653 NAS7-100) many were able to significantly improve their scores. Four of the subjects improved their scores at the hundred-to-one level or better."

For some reason, the red square is the only one that jumps out at me.  Maybe I was a Toro Bravo in a previous life.  In my short time testing this app, I cannot even make statistically probable guesses.  I am like the ANTI-psychic.  So, here I sit, staring at my iphone, waiting for that special feeling.

Please tell me about your results!

10 phenomena likely to fly out of the LHC's butt

Sergio Bertolucci, the director for research and scientific computing at CERN, the European Organization for Nuclear Research, which controls the collider, recently TOLD REPORTERS:

"Out of this door might come something, or we might send something to it."

Toronto Star article: Collider could open hole to new dimensions

Right.   He is saying we could open a rift to other dimensions.  No problem.  I have some theories what may come through.

• The Mayan Army that's been trapped by AH-PUCH, and having defeated this lesser god, waiting for just the right moment, say 2012... to reclaim their lost kingdom.
• A horde of thriller dancing zombies.
• Snuggles, the fabric softener bear.
• The rumored milfcougar, legendary, but unlikely.
• Bin Laden
• Throw a mentos in there... I just want to see what happens.
• tweets from Carl Sagan
  
• cropcircle templates
  
• Q
• The Mist 

and of course.... WINGed MONKEYs!

That's a start.  Do you have any predictions on what may sneak through the LHC wormhole?  Or even better, what we could send over to the other side?  Add your comments plz.

D augmented reality collAR. New from the WAG store!

D augmented reality collAR

• Pack status rankings using the truK9 algorithm from alpha dog to little bitch.

• BSA (bark spectrum analyzer): perks up when the frequency known as the bark-bluffing wave is detected.  It boasts a 98 percent hit rate for reliable "bark is worse than bite" assurance.
  

• Real time begging analytics seamlessly mesh your  puppy eyes with human behavioral metrics.

• Squirrel scan HUD and photogeometric tracking of those furry bastards.

• BoneBury password protection and depth encryption.

As part of the SNIFFer platform:

• Pmail : improved spam filters for spayed or neutered.  aroma assist, and geo tagging for home range, territorial pissings, and nervous tinkles.

• biffer integration: the signature "Hello world!" app.  micro-buttsniffing various states of wag from rapid to tucked away,  broadcast your "beefs" beyond your pack.  Integrated with dog-park and assbook.

• On the go: switch to head window mode for rapid SNIFFer rates and paw free operation.

• toggle auto-pound on/off for leash free operation.

also at the wag store:

Frisbee vector
Scaredy cat
PetSmart locater