11 Thrilling Action Hero Quotes Delivered by our Robot Overlords

After reading Ben Goertzel's blog post, Dialoguing with the US Military on the Ethics of Battlebots, I was struck by the potential horror of his stated position on battlebot ethics:

I remain generally anti-violence and anti-war, but my main political focus now is on encouraging a smooth path toward a positive Singularity. To the extent that military force may be helpful toward achieving this end it has to be considered as a potentially positive thing....

In Ben's defense, he uses his blog to explore these ethics in a thoughtful way.  The levels of horror possible with Artificial Intelligence battlebots can be exposed if one considers them as potential action heroes delivering the requisite hero one liners.

Here are some of our beloved action hero one liners as delivered by the AI of Google translate:

We'll name our Artificial action starbot DOOMBA.

"They may take our lives, but they will never take our freedom!"  (Mel Gibson in Braveheart - 1995)

    It may take our lives, our freedom can not take! (DOOMBA)
    "Say hello to my little friend!"  (Al Pacino in Scarface - 1983)

    Greetings my little friend! (DOOMBA)
    "You've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya punk?" (Clint Eastwood in "Dirty Harry" – 1971) 
    Ask yourself to try it. Do I feel lucky? Oh, what are ya? Punk! (DOOMBA)
    "Yippee ki yay motherfucker."  (Bruce Willis in Die Hard series - 1988)

    Ki yay motherfucker afford brush.  (DOOMBA)
    "Out here, due process is a bullet." (John Wayne in "The Green Berets" – 1968) 
    Out, due process is a bullet here.  (DOOMBA)
    "You talkin' to me?" (Robert De Niro in "Taxi Driver" – 1976)
    You are 'in me?  (DOOMBA)
    "Dyin' ain't much of a living, boy." (Clint Eastwood in "The Outlaw Josey Wales" – 1976)

    Not much in life, boy.  (DOOMBA)
    "Go ahead, make my day." (Clint Eastwood in "Sudden Impact" – 1983)
    Future, go to my day.  (DOOMBA)
    "You're the disease. I'm the cure." (Sylvester Stallone in "Cobra" – 1986)
    You're sick. I'm cured.  (DOOMBA)
    "I crap bigger than you." (Jack Palance in "City Slickers" –1991)

    If I was larger than junk.  (DOOMBA)
    "If you come back in here, I'm going to hit you with so many rights, you're going to beg for a left." (Chuck Norris "Invasion USA" – 1985) 
    If, come back here, if I have to hit very many privileges, I will ask for going left.  (DOOMBA)

    As you see, our plucky action star DOOMBA can't deliver a kick ass quote.  But I'm sure his killing will be all precision.

    Paper or Plastic or Infinity?

    The modern dilemna.  I try to use cloth bags whenever I can, but things come up.  Here is a situation I encounter often:

    I was at my local market very early in the morning.  Only one cashier.  As she is checking me out she asks, "Paper or Plastic?"  I say paper.  I make this choice because I live near the coast where plastic is very threatening to wildlife.

    Now I nearly always do my shopping by using one of those little carry baskets instead of a grocery cart.  It keeps me to buying the essentials.  If I can't carry it I probably don't need it.  This means that on most occassions I have one to two bags worth of groceries max.  I aim for one.

    Nearly every time I check out I have the same problem.  The cashier or bagger proceeds to put one item in each bag.  I say, "one bag is fine, please."  So then they look at me like I'm crazy, and take one bag and stick it in another.  As soon as they hand it to me I pull the second bag off.  "I only need one bag."

    Sometimes they act really confused as to how to get ALL these groceries in one bag.  I end up showing them.  I have literally had them argue with me, insisting that I need double bagged groceries or the bags will tear.  I tell them I accept all risk of tearing thank you.

    I have requested paper, only to have them place the paper bag inside of a plastic one.  I say one bag is fine.  But you need the handles they insist.  I say I don't.  I can carry a paper bag in the old fashioned way... in my arms.  As I pick the bag up and smile, they look quite dubious.  Apparently I've crossed a line of normalcy.

    This morning it was me and the cashier.  She asks, "Paper or plastic?"  "Paper," I say.  As I am inputting my payment card information I see her place one paper bag inside of another.  I decide not to say anything, I will just pull the second bag off as usual.  She looks confused as to how to pack things.  I move over to assist.  At that moment, a bagger appears and literally shoves me away from the bagging area.  She tells the cashier, "I got it."  The cashier says, "You may need another bag."  The bagger grabs one.

    I say, "No.  One bag is fine."  The bagger glares at me.  I am amazed at what is next.  It was a new one for me.  The bagger pulls out some little paper bags I have never seen before and places each item in a little bag before setting it in the double bagged larger one.

    I am speechless.  So for my 13 dollars worth of groceries I end up with a total of NINE bags.  WTF?  I can't even protest.  I walk away from the store stunned.

    From NBC news:

    Here's how paper and plastic stack up side by side:
    To make all the bags we use each year, it takes 14 million trees for paper and 12 million barrels of oil for plastic. The production of paper bags creates 70 percent more air pollution than plastic, but plastic bags create four times the solid waste — enough to fill the Empire State Building two and a half times. And they can last up to a thousand years.

    Plastic, because it's cheaper to produce, is the overwhelming choice of grocery stores across the nation — the average family of four uses almost 1,500 of these a year.

    Strangers in the Tokyo wifi

    How to meet random nerds in Tokyo? I was trying to find free wifi at 7am on a Saturday in a Tokyo suburb. The streets were empty so I was free to follow signal strength where it might lead.

    It lead down an alley of small shops with roll down doors locking away their contents. A crowd of young men were huddled against one wall. Most were smoking cigs, a few were playing cards, and all had their portable electronics out.

    I sidled up to their huddle. The signal grew. That small curb was a wifi hotspot.

    As a foreigner in Japan I stick out. And I often attract second glances from the curious. It makes me feel on display like some kind of specimen from the land of gaijin.

    Here I was accepted in the wash of wifi that we all sought in that chilly morning alleyway.

    - Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone